I'm lost, without energy and focus. - The Doomsday arrival

I'm lost, without energy and focus. - The Doomsday arrival

[Image source]

Life has it's ups and downs, just as any freelancing career. Sales will increase and drop. It's like a Ferris Wheel. - You start at the bottom, you work your way up and then it's downhill again, until you reach the bottom.. And you go round and round. - It's like circle. - A never ending story.

However, you might have heard that all of these things are common and nothing to worry about. Especially as everyone knows that it's how things are in life and during your freelancing career. - But what if, you start to doubt yourself or if you lost motivation. What if you lost focus and what if you've been struggling with other things in life during this time.. - Then there's a huge risk of you standing at the edge of a cliff. - Something as easy as a small puff of wind and you're doomed.

That's how I've been living my life since May 2016. I've been standing at the edge of a cliff, even though I've been trying with everything I've got to turn around. I suffer from panic anxiety and depression ever since my father passed away and these things have left obvious marks. - But alongside with that, I've been struggling with other things in life too.. And I've also been struggling with my freelancing career. - I lost my biggest client a few months back and that was like the last nail in my coffin. - I knew that I would suffer from that, especially in terms of income, but I could never imagine that it would affect me this much. - I probably took things for granted, especially as that specific client and I had been doing work for the last 2+ years or so.

And that's the thing. I started to take things for granted.. But it's easy to do that when things have been fine during such a long time. - But ever since then, I've tried to make things easier, I've tried to get involved with other things and I've tried to gain new clients and expand my business. - I've also spent endless of hours on steemit. - That being said, I've spent so much time and I've also managed to make things easier in terms of money.. - But I've also spent so much time, so it feels like I don't have any time left. - It's a very odd feeling and it's hard to explain.

It's like I've run out of time, even though the same amount of hours still are in place. - But I'm having huge troubles to focus and to keep myself motivated enough during these hours so I accomplish less than I should.. or need. - And that's the biggest problem. - I have to accomplish more than I do right now, and it's easy to say "just do it"... - But I'm like a magician without power.

"?Abracadabra" - and nothing happens.